Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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