i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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