Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
