i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
