I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
