I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize