You work out of a Hotel?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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