this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
