I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
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