Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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