Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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