I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
