It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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