I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
