i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
