That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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