I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
