hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
