Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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