Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
