Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
