I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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