You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
this hospital has no fireball
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
