when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
