let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
