if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
