tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
