If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
