your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
