It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How does one acquire holy water?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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