Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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