so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
