good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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