Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
