Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Send help, water and tortillas.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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