You're my little dorito
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
