From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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