I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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