Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
