Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
well you can't waste a boner
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
