i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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