Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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