Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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