Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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