My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
