Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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