I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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