do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
