the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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