I'm really into asian looking animals
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm like, not good at living.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
