i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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