Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize