you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
