Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
