Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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