Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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