i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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