but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I looked at my own cervix.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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