I wish my penis had an off switch
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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