I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
