i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
